Race Day: Post Race

Forgive the pre-story-story, but...

In 1998, I was with a film crew shooting a movie in Nauvoo, Illinois. I was driving a massive 12 passenger van on a little country road past a farm, when all of a sudden the tornado warnings started screaming. Having grown up in Washington State, my range of experience with tornadoes was with movies like Twister and the Wizard of Oz. I panicked. All I could think to do was to get myself back to where all of my coworkers were and hope someone would know what to do. The field next to the road seemed a good place to do a U-turn, but I must have swung too hard and knocked the power steering out. The van was completely stuck--so I thought in my panicked state. Did I mention I was in a panic? Fear is a weird thing--if it can get it's teeth into you, there is no reasoning with it. I found my way into the barn near the road and stood gaping at the the amazing amounts of pitchforks, axes, and all things sharp and pointy. The reality check happened as I lifted a hard hat and realized that if a tornado did indeed hit that barn, there was no way that hard hat was going to save me. I put the hat down and left the barn for the van. Much more calm, I watched the rain pelt the window and said a little prayer. When it stopped raining, I took a walk of shame back to the set.

Today:
We woke really early and headed to the lake. Parking was easy, we just followed a truck with a tri-bike in the back. The morning was cool and overcast with a slight mist making things damp.

JE was in the first wave. As he was prepping for his swim, my gut was wreaking havoc and I need to find a bathroom. I got back to him just before he took off. He remembers nothing of our final visit before his take off, he didn't remember I was there! Funny, he was so zoned out--or dialed in?

My wave was third. I met my friend Julie whom I trained with in a class last January/February, and stood with her before the race began--she is in my same wave. The buzzer went off, and I waded out into the water. I dove in and all of my senses went crazy. My nose filled with the musty scent of the lake, my eyes saw my white skin under the dark water, the taste of the water was off, the sound of so many bodies thrashing around me. It sent me into a panic, all I could think was: I don't want to do this! My gut felt like I was going to throw up, and looking back at shore, I wondered if I could swim to one of the nearby neighborhoods and just disappear. Then I remembered all of you, waiting (and so supportive) for this entry. Thank you for being my inspiration!

For a little while, all I could do was breast stroke, then I flipped over and did a back stroke. I couldn't find rhythm or breath. To the side of me was a woman whose face mirrored how I was feeling--except she looked like her fear had no handle. I asked her if she was OK and she said she was panicking. I swam with her for a while, trying to talk my way out of my panic as much as I was trying to talk her out of hers. She could not put her face in the water. She could not find breath, she sounded out of breath and alarmed. When I asked her what her inner-coach was saying, she replied that she wasn't there today. (Mine was! The entire struggle, I was being barked at by my inner-coach, relentlessly! 'Just keep moving forward! Put your head in that water and swim! Find your rhythm--three strokes, breath, three strokes, breath.' Finally Caroline succumbed to her fear, she looked crazed--a woman possessed. I was so afraid she was going to start blindly thrashing and take me down with her. The entire route was lined with life-guards on surf boards. I hailed a life-guard and he paddled to her, she hung on his board like it was life itself. I told her I would be down the course and left.

Then my real swim began. Still dealing with that irrational fear, I put my face in the water and swam two strokes to one breath. When I looked back up, the giant yellow buoy was so much closer that I could have hoped--turn around point. Eventually, I did find my rhythm and finished, but it was so frustrating to get passed by all the different waves of people, particularly the older men who started last.

Even more frustrating was coming into the transition area and seeing all but a couple dozen of the bikes gone. And know that I really baulked the swim--the one area I had the most confidence and the least fear--before I started.

What was awesome, was seeing my JE waiting there with my towel and a bottle of water in hand. My knight in shining armor had waited for me. Such a hero, my hero.

I dried off as best I could and put on my cycling cleats, shoving my socks into my jacket pockets. The cool morning was kept firmly at bay though my screaming yellow jacket and a headband to cover my ears.

Santiago Canyon is a beautiful place, and one of my favorite places to ride. The way to Irvine Lake (which marked the turn around point) was lined with police vehicles and volunteers, ensuring racers safe passage at all intersections. We had a bit of a tailwind on the way, and averaged around 25mph. The way back was a different story. It was slow into the headwind, but we still averaged around 13mph. Not a bad ride!

Getting into the second transition area, my toes were absolutely on fire. As soon as I got over the microchip sensor, I took off my cleats (which was a bit unnerving to some of the volunteers there) and ran to find my running shoes (where I had placed them yesterday). As I was racking my bike, a woman came up next to me and removed her bike--she was finished--as in all done. I still had an hour to go.

Running with JE is a pleasure. Mostly we goofed off and ran at a leisurely pace. We were already so far at the end of the pack--we may as well have just had fun with it. We speed walked up the hills (we actually passes some people who were running up the hills), me drenched with sweat and lightheaded with the exertion.

The entire length of the race, volunteers offered water and cheer. They were so amazing. This day would not have been anywhere near as organized and lovely had it not been for those people and their encouragement.

When we reached the club house, a volunteer informed us that we only had about 75 yard left to run. At the same moment, JE and I both said, "Race ya!" We took off down that corridor with a strong run. Perhaps a couple hundred people had stayed to cheer on the stragglers, but they were so willing to give us a cheer as we sprinted over the finish line. Of the 1,000 participants, there were 632 finishers, 430 men, 202 women. And no losers.

At that point, I wanted nothing more than to lay my poor body down on the grass and rest, but knew that I would cause myself more pain later in doing that than if I were to walk it off and cool down a bit. We still had to collect our gear.

The awards ceremony was just finishing up, and we witnessed the youth awards. The announcer declared that it was all finished, as there was no more hardware out there to be had. As we had just barely returned our microchip anklets, I thought we were the last people to finish and that all the microchips were now accounted for. Not so, breath easy.

On the way to pick up our bikes, we met Julie again. She had finished 10 minutes earlier than her goal! So proud of her!


It is a great feeling to have accomplished this. When I think about the things I have been able to do in the last year (my cyle tour, training and running in triathlons, starting an itty-bitty bakery and blogging all about it), I am just so grateful. These things are things I have been wanting to do, but always put off, thinking that someday was always in the future. It isn't. Someday can be right now. Dreams are passions realized. I try to live by my own motto, 'There are a million excuses, but only one reason. What ever that reason is, live by it.' It's all about having a goal.

Now what? In the immediate future: sleep and food...
Tomorrow, Possibly head to my favorite Korean spa in LA and I will come up with a plan to further my training. My next race I want to take my time down to the 3 hour range. Training. And baking. Perhaps I can come up with my own energy bars...