Monterey Bay

Driving down the coast from Santa Cruz to Monterey, we passes amazing bike trails that traversed farmland and dunes. This was my ride, a year and a half ago, when I rode solo down the coast. It was funto relive that adventure a little. Sometimes, life makes no sense, until you chuck it all to the side and view it from a new angle. I'm so glad I had that opportunity.

We spent the morning at Monterey Aquarium and really enjoyed just being together. It seems that our vacation is finally coming through for us. Once we left Utah, my congestion cleared and I stopped coughing almost entirely. Could it be that I am sincerely allergic to Utah?

Yesterday, we drove across Utah, Nevada and California-856 miles of fun which translates to about 15 hours of driving. The highlights were waking at dawn in what I thought was a snowfield at dawn. JE stopped at a rest area and we ran out onto the salt flats if western Utah. They were somehow serene and beautiful, and altogether magical. The distant hills were golden and the salt was very white in a continual sheet that stretched across the valley, perfectly flat. I'd seen photos of the salt flats, but was surprised by them in real life. Not as surprised as I was to look out the window in Nevada and see a crazy wood and stucco structure embedded with bottles and faces made of clay. The Thundermountain Indian Monument was standing alone on the side of the road as we drove past. I asked JE if we could stop, and he conceded. This place was one of the creepiest places I had ever even. Here and there were old rusted out engines, cars, statuary, rotted furniture, and heaps of rocks and junk. The structure it's self was made of bottles and rocks stuck together, some was stuccoed over.

Reno was just plane strange. We stopped for lunch and decided that if you peppered a bit of Vegas into Cleveland and sprinkled in a few mountains, you'd get Reno. Admittedly, we werent there long, but a first impression is a first impression.

Probably the best thing about the trip was checking into our hotel and going for a run to remove some of the stiffness in our bodies. We ran along the beach trail, north to the lighthouse, south and then to the end of the warf. The fog was so thick! And having just left one of the driest states, it was nice to be surrounded by water.

Tonight, JE and I ran south, past the boardwalk amusement park and down to a beach my friends brought me to when I was traveling through on bike. At the north end of the beach is a long spine of rock. It seemed inevitable that we run around the point of the rock, race the incoming waves, but get our new shoes doused with seawater. We continued along the beach, heading north, until we were cut off by a river flowing into the sea. At that point we ran toward the rock, JE was going back to the point, I went for the face. There was a skinny trail etched through the bits of scraggly flora that clung to the rock. Climbing was easy. The rock was barely wider than the trail which traversed from the cliffs at the top of the beach to the point if rock jutting into the sea. We sat at the point, until we got cold then started our run back to the hotel.

Did I mention the trestle bridge? Remember the river? Well, on the way we crossed a bridge. With railroad tracks. And trestles. And graffiti that claimed, "this bridge will fall!" and places where that bridge had fallen. Literally.

I was focused on making sure my feet were centered over the middle of each tie. As a kid, my dad would take my family hiking on the newly built, but not yet operating, railroad trestle bridges that clung to the mountains in our area. Imagine "stand by me" minus the train-track. We would walk the bridges, always afraid we'd fall through the slats. At one point, my sister wedged her foot between the ties and lost her shoe to the hundred foot drop. Those bridges were sound, still scary, but not falling apart.

The trestle bridge tonight was in no way sound. Dry rot and age had deteriorated the ties, and some had fallen to the river below. But, we were halfway across the bridge before we realized this fact. What brought it to my attention was my gut dropping out from under me as I stopped. My next step could have been through a gap wide enough to slip an entire person through onto a rocky riverbed 50 feet below. JE grabbed my hand and reminded me that I could do this. I pointed my flashlight so that it displayed only what was in front of me, not below me, and continued walking.

Most happiness is about perception. Seeing what you have vs seeing what you don't have. I have this sweet, patient, amazing man in my life. He is my best friend, wise advisor, and witty counterpart. He makes me laugh, consoles my sorrow and takes my hand when I am afraid. Does life get better than that? For some, sure. But for me? He is my everything. Others have different means of happiness: nieces and nephews, moms and dads, children or pets. Work? Friends? A place to call home? Maybe money makes you happy. But the lack of any of the desires of your heart, should not be a means of unhappiness. This will be my something to work on in the new year. Changing my attitude and finding my gratitude.

That, and running a marathon.

Later we went to dinner and a funk concert at the Crepe Hut in Santa Cruz. So much fun. OTS which stands for On The Spot, a funky Medeski, Martin and Wood style trio. JE loved it. He was a bit jealous of their equipment.

Swam my mile today. And though it was rhythmless and fragmented, it felt great. Between the altitude and this ailment, I really struggled for it. Half way through, I played my game of elongating my entire body and holding that position while I kicked to maintain my position at the surface of the water. There were a few good stretches, when I did find my rhythm and maintained my speed.

Dinner with friends, Matt and April. Matt made tandoori chicken pizza on homemade naan bread, with a cilantro based pesto and a tamarind balsamic glaze. It was so good!

Crater

The day began with me, alone in bed, waking up to nightmares. JE had left very early to take out car to the dealership in an attempt to find out why it has been overheating. Nightmares gave way to wakefulness and coughing. Nasty stuff. I haven't been sick for this long in years.; is it Utah?

The car is fine, by all accounts. The mechanic test drove it three times and could find nothing wrong with it. So we drove up to Sundance. While we were walking around, we passed a family taking pictures. Someone called out, "hey Larry, want to come be in our family portrait?" I looked over and saw Larry King running into frame. I turned to JE and told him I wanted to ask for a photo with my aliens. Yah, they go everywhere with me these days, for just such occasions. JE was adamant that I had to be the one to ask, no way was he going to do it! No sweat. Mr. King had no qualms with my taking a photo with him, even when I introduced him to Nuni and Sassathorne. One of his entourage asked if it was like a flat stanley, and I said yes. He reached for the dolls, but I explained that if I hold them, they look life sized. He joked that it was the first time having a photo taken had to be explained to him. But when I was done and showed him the photo, he laughed, said it was cool and passed it around to show his wife and family. Fun.

We continued our drive up the canyon, making it to the Timoanogas trailhead without overheating.

The drive up is so beautiful. The mountains are cragged and massive icicles drip out of them, where springs fall in the summer. There is little snow right now, so the foliage near the river is still autumnal in color. Everything is radiantly gold and green from the evergreens. At the top, near the trailhead, silvery birch trees up to their ankles in snow, line the entrance.

One of the things we anticipated doing while here, was to go to the Midway Crater. This is one of the truly unique experience to be had in this area. It is a lump in the landscape with a hole on top and a hot spring inside. In 1995, a tunnel going into the crater was dug. It is now one of the few places in Utah to offer scuba diving year round. JE and I spent an hour luxuriating in the warm water. We were the only ones in the crater, besides a few divers below. It was peaceful to just float.

When we got home, we were both so tired that we went straight to sleep. Now I'm up and it's 3:30 AM.

What the Dickens

I think Charles Dickens had it about right: Christmas Eve is for reflecting the past and present, to determine the future of our lives. Christmas Day is for the living.

JE and I were alone for the better part of the morning. We opened presents and reheated cinnamon rolls in the oven (which we overheated, causing to frosting to become a thick caramel glaze--far too sweet for my sugarless palate. However, when paired with left over Brie and ham, this was a perfect breakfast for a celebration day!) I got new Brooks running shoes! These will be my long distance trainers. I need to run, or swim. Something! Anything! Being stuck inside because of the car or cold or being sick--SUCKS! I'll be polite and not mention what it sucks...

Later, we drove up to Meri's and hung out with her family. It was fun, playing faux-Barbie with my little nieces. I have to admit, I wasn't playing right. My faux-Barbies kept fainting because they were too skinny and needed to eat something. They were just too weak to hold themselves up, even when Prince Ken came to ask them to dance. I am a terrible person...

Nuni and Sassathorne have a book which we gave as gifts to JE's mom and sister, Stephanie. It is a pictorial of Nuni and Sassathorne spending a day in Los Angeles. Super fun, and well received.

Dinner was traditional turkey and ham and all the fixings and all the family. We brought our grain and fruit salad, which seemed to be well loved. I also made a pie--peanut butter. It was good, made with real sugar, and caramel, and chocolate. It pretty much rocked, and was incredibly sweet. Half way through, I was finished. But it's Christmas, and I don't get to glut on sugar like that these days. Please notice that it is nearly two AM. Yah. Sugar...

Games and movies followed, but I was feeling poorly again and lay as a lump on the couch.

We dropped by Matt and April's on the way home and shared our 2011 playlist. These are the friends who showed us around Taiwan. It's nice to have them home. Love them.

Merry Christmas Eve

JE and I drove out to Springville for part of our family Christmas celebration, this evening. It was a simple gathering, with JE's sister's family and his mom. Dinner. The nativity as performed by my nieces and nephews. A game called Things. And dessert as supplied by yours truly (it's so disappointing to spend do much time preparing something that no one eats).

I picked up my great niece tonight. She was crawling into the next room to relieve her brother who was bawling his head off for being punished in a time out. Generally, I don't pick up babies. I've become excessively gun shy, so to speak. But life is about making choices, and living with the consequences. If I want these little people to be in my life later, I need to be in their lives now. How many fears have I come over in the past little while? I can do this. Admittedly, this first interaction with her was to hand her off to her father, my nephew. But I did play with her later. And her brother.

On the way home, JE and I stopped by the cemetery. As we were driving past, on our way to dinner, many families had gathered at the cemetery in the brilliant golden light of sunset, to decorate and place candles on family graves. On our way home, the cemetery was filled with luminaries and Mylar Christmas trees. It glittered and shimmered in the cold night air. We parked the car and walked the perimeter, outside the tall iron fence, and looked in at the lights. It was still and very cold, the stars were magnificently reflecting that light right back at us.

You know that song by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas? And remember when Judy Garland sang it to Margaret O'Brien just before Margaret went stark-raving and ran out to dig up her dead dolls in Meet Me in St Louis? Remember the sweet melancholy and strange nostalgic feeling in that one song? That just about sums up this Christmas for me. Thoughts of my dead family filled my mind and how very blessed I am because I knew them. JE's father is buried in that cemetery. Someday, we should go light candles for him. Way up in Portland, Oregon, my family muddles through their first Christmas without my mom. Wish I could be there with them.

I talked to my father this evening. He is very happy in Portland and exercising daily at the gym. So far he has lost 26 pounds.

It's twelve degrees outside right now. I am snug inside with a space heater and a humidifier. No way on God's grean earth will I be running today. Weather is so much an issue on this trip. But also, I'm still sick.

At six this morning, I woke with a pounding headache. My sinuses are fully clogged and miserable. I've been trying to take it easy, relax and get over this thin but it feels like its just settling in further. I started coughing in earnest last night. The problem with HMOs is found here: the closest facility is in Colorado. That's a hell of a drive for a fifteen minute visit to get a few pills. And I'm not sure our car could make it anyway.

Yesterday, JE and I were trying to get see some of the beauty of the area. We drove up Provo canyon, on our way to Sundance and the car began to overheat. JE pulled off and called a tow truck. He and a brother in law worked the rest of the day changing the thermostat. As he drove home from the shop, it started to overheat again. He thinks the water pump is going out.

I wonder if we will ever make it to Santa Cruz for the reception. Maybe we will breakdown on Donner pass and go cannibal. Seems right in keeping with the tenor of this trip.

My iPad memory got wiped out. Hateful. We were on our way to Utah when I realized this, so there is no way to know if my backup worked. That was a rough day. The same day JE forgot to bring his suit to Utah for the wedding.

Could things have gotten worse. Yes, they did. But just briefly. But we a choosing to ignore that And now we are still in bed at twenty after one on a Tuesday. Gotta love the holidays.

Hoping for snow today, so that it will warm up here. It was so cold when we arrived, there was hoarfrost on the trees. So pretty.

Hoping for a swim sometime today or tomorrow. It's so cold, my lungs hurt when I run.

Monkey see, monkey do

When I awoke this morning, the sky was still dark with a heavy set of storm clouds. The weather channel app said that my area was on alert for severe weather in the form of thunderstorms and torrential rain. How fun! It cemented my thoughts of going for my long run today, before my week heats up exponentially. 

My trail runs riverside, next to one of those big concrete ditches that usually only hold a trickle of water and a medley of wildlife in the soft bottoms. As the river passes under the 405 freeway, the river is sent into a concrete channel, almost narrow enough to straddle, with a wide cement sidewalk on either side. Just below this bottleneck, is a series of large concrete teeth used to catch the debris before it enters the ocean,  a few miles away.

The river was fast and full of debris. Not garbage, so much as leaves and branches. Probably left over from our wind storms of last week. The channel was full and spilling onto the walkways in places. It excited an instant of fear at the realization of the power and swiftness of that river. Already the guardrail had sticks lodged in it from earlier in the day. The water must have been at least a foot deeper. 

I ran in my bike brights, a neon green zipper front jacket with back pockets across the rear. As JE was driving to his work with me in the passenger seat, I looked over at a truck next to us and saw the driver sporting bike brights. I started looking around at his vehicle to find his bike and realized that both the passenger and the driver were looking at me and looking around the car to find my bike. Completely recognizable as bike wear. But, it saved me. My ten miles was fun, but wet and cold. My inner thermostat kept my core warm, but my limbs were all wet and chilled. But, I felt invigorated by the rain!

I was the only person running out there today. I passed two people on bicycles, but that was it for my entire ten mile stretch. When I think about how many people live here and probably ended up at the gym today, I have to laugh. Can you imagine the humidity from the sweat generated by all those bodies? Yuck! And you're breathing that stuff...

When I got back to the freeway underpass, the river was impassable. I sent JE a text asking if he would pick me up at a nearby store. My phone battery went dead even before I knew if he had gotten my text. But when I got to the store, he was waiting for me in the car with the heat cranked up and the seat heaters on. That is love!

I was so cold and hungry, we stopped by the closest burger joint and got lunch from the drive thru. As we were waiting in line, we watched several people going in and out of the store. Most of them hunched over, bending their knees and squinting with their foreheads ready for spring planting. It was sort of comical at first and uproariously funny by the end of lunch. My favorite was a woman in a raincoat and goulashes clutching a bag of food to her chest as she huddled over to protect it on the way to her car.  We parked, facing the entrance, to eat--just so we could watch people's response to the rain. Some Californians do not do well in wet weather.

Maybe this sounds sort of mean, but I grew up in Seattle, where rain is a given. So, seeing so many people interacting with these rare southern California rains, was an experiment on culture!

After lunch, I was still frozen, so JE took me to a coffee house to get a cup of something hot. As we got out of the car, JE called to me that I needed to hunch down and furrow my forehead to stay dry. We both took long steps, coming from the hip, with our shoulders bent toward our knees. JE was fast in that position, and I called to squint his eyes if he wanted to stay dryer.

JE's quote of the day, in reference to anyone who may have seen us playing fools: those guys are smart. In that position they are likely to get less wet!" well, I was belly laughing...

The one problem with these big runs is how remarkably calorie deprived I feel afterward. I'm not entirely sure it isn't the cold making me feel like this. In Nar'yan Mar, in the sub degree temperature, I sought high calorie foods all the time. Tatiana Ivanovna owned a countertop deep fat fryer. Perhaps arctic Russia is one of the truly excusable place to own one of these things. Often, after a long day at work, she would turn on the fryer and 'boil' hotdogs in it until the skin turned golden and split. I never developed an affinity for this. My high calorie food was French toast fried in endless amounts of butter topped with black current jam. I'd eat it with a piping hot cup of peach or blackberry tea with a healthy dollop of sweetened condensed milk stirred in. Yum.

Severe weather alerts for this morning. How exciting! I'm going for my third ten miler, with the anticipation that this rain and possible thunderstorms will be energizing for me. I asked JE if he wanted me to wait and run with him tonight, and at first he said yes, then we both realized that I'm going to have to get lost in my day today. On top of my self induced commitments, I'm also working this week. Today is my only truly free day and I'm going out to enjoy it. I love this!

Cold

JE's comment as we finished our run tonight was poignant, "Why is it that 48 degrees feels colder than 48 degrees here? In Utah, 48 degrees is nothing!" I was shaking by the time I got into the car. Thank goodness for heaters! Even still, my lips were blue by the time I got home.

Earlier in the day, I made a huge pot of borscht with far more beef than would be found in any authentic Russian soup. But it was so good and nourishing, accompanied by a good dark Russian sour bread. The bread was a far cry from the black heavy loaves speckled with bits of seeds, nuts and raisins that I had up north, but still delicious. Especially after a solid 10 mile run.

Ten miles.

JE keeps asking me if I ever dreamed that someday I'd be running 10 miles with so little effort. I wanted to smack him when he asked that. My run tonight was such hard work, so much effort for me to keep going. If it hadn't been so damn cold, I think I would have walked a lot more often. But it was cold, so to keep from hypothermia, I ran.

Some days are just stronger than other days.

JE has an effortless ability to just keep going, to run and not seem to feel it. Some days, he runs circles around me, literally. But match us on a pool or on a distance bike ride, and I can kick his trash.

Small change

As I swam back and forth in the pool this Arvo, my mind was engrossed with all the motivations for change. What is change? What motivates it? How do people find the motivation to continue on a new chosen path? What is a life changing event?

For some time now, I've been consumed with the notion that life changing events are drastically smaller than most people think. If I call some small little thing, "life-changing," people giggle, get uncomfortable, think I'm being overly dramatic. But really, when do true changes occure? Where is the trailhead? If all my life I have been on a chosen path, for me this was being negligent of my health, and I remain on that path, I will eventually end up at the destination of poor health. Because consequences follow actions. Period. One day I wake up and see where I am heading. I have to make a choice: stay on that path or change. But change is hard. Change takes work. Life is comfortable. But the seed is sewn, that thought exists, and an intelligent mind will keep working out how to change. The change is already underway.

Tiny changes begin to happen: choosing the broth soup over the cream soup, salad instead of fries, walking up the stairs rather than the elevator, go for a run just because it feels good to move. The mind gets happy with these changes, endorphins begin to arise and clean out the cobwebs of sadness and loneliness. The world gets brighter. There is time to think and sort and figure things out. Life looks better and better. Suddenly, I wonder how on earth I ever lived without sweating everyday?

It started with a salad.