Day 223: Baker’s man--or woman

A friend on Facebook wrote his status to be: “If you do your very best and you still lose......you're a loser.” It bothered me. It bothered me all evening, as I cycled to the grocery store to pick up some things for tomorrow’s baking experiment. It bothered me as I stood looking at apples having a panic attack because suddenly I felt I knew nothing about baking apples. It bothered me so much, because it is so short sighted. Who makes the rules that dictate if you win or lose? Whose finish line are you trying to cross--one dictated by the masses or one you set for yourself? In my opinion, the only losers are those who don’t try.

And so, I went to work today. I warned Max--my new associate, that I would pretend that I own the place--he said, “Good, as it should be.” I cleaned, I made bagel chips with his day old bagels, I served customers, I ran errands. My goal right now is to make myself absolutely invaluable. In exchange, I get to learn a bit about the bakery business and have a commercial kitchen to experiment in and soon to bake in. Soon: because I am working with a designer on a logo, website and business cards so that when I start to deliver little samples of my baked goods to businesses in the area, my name and company will not be lost in the exchange. I do have a small audience and an opportunity to sell some of my baked goods at this business, but expansion is key to success when we are talking $3-$4 at a time.

As I said earlier, I was standing over the apples, when my fear took hold. ‘What am I doing!?! I have no formal training in any of this! It’s all self taught and I’m not that good!’ I thought. I was almost in tears. When I got home, I picked up a couple of my favorite recipes, in anticipation of tomorrow. ‘Oh, right. I do this one thing, really well. People love this recipe. OK, I can do this one thing.’ And that is all anything is: that one thing I do really well. A step into the darkness.

With 10 days to go until my first ever Olympic length triathlon, sometimes I have the same sort of fear about that. But all things relate in my mind. I have completed several steps in this triathlon recipe, the final finishing time is coming really soon. I’ve done well, trained hard, changed my life. One more step into the darkness, and discovering light.

Total ride: 11 miles,
Total Swim: 1600 yards (got kicked out by security at 10)