Day 148: Dedication

I should not be up. I should not be eating peanut butter malt balls. It should not be raining, but it is pouring. I should be in bed. I am not sleepy. I feel fat and bloated. I must sleep. At this moment, there is a bit of fear and wonder--wonder why I'm doing this... Carb-loading sucks. I'm buzzing and can't do a dang thing about it. I'm hoping food coma takes over soon.

My friend DW, has been planning on participating in this Tri, but because of the weather she is reconsidering. She is worried about riding in the rain and that it will be slippery on tiny bike tires. This is my worry too. I received an email from my friend and inspiration, DA, saying he was in a bike crash and broke his collar bone. This is my fear. No fear is enough to keep me from trying and putting my best effort into this, but there is fear. And lightning and swimming pools.

The Race:
5K run
change shoes, add goggles, helmet and maybe gloves
12 mile bike ( don't forget the bike computer)
Take off shoes, goggles, helmet and socks and any other clothes I've needed if it's raining and cold, add swim cap and swim goggles run to pool,
200 yd swim
walk out of pool to cross finish line

What I'm hoping: That my body will take over and go, while my mind prepares for the next event (I'm hoping that my brain picks up all this training and just turns off, while my body says, 'Oh, hey, I've done this before. No sweat!' In reality, I'll turn purple and pour sweat); that I will finish with honor and grace, that I will have courage and valor; that I won't forget my kindness in my hurry.

Since I found out about a friend's cancer, I've been wanting to dedicate my race to her and her sweet family. I've debated it, talked it over with JE, prayed about it. My hesitation is, should I dedicate a race to someone so full of life? Two weeks ago, the day I forgot my helmet and ran backwards cheering my training mates on in their ride and forgetting myself, was the day that it confirmed to me that I should go ahead and do this. In my heart at least, and now publicly. So, my friend, this race is dedicated to you, to let you know that you are often in my thoughts and that I am cheering for you. I love you.

Now, get better, damn it!