Each sunrise as we run, crows fill the sky. Flying in huge murders from south to north, they land in trees and antagonize cats. As I pedal home, hundreds of crows line the river bed and trees, flying north to south. They make a lot of noise as they pass.
Saturday, as I pedaled along the Huntington beach board walk, I was passing a couple of guys. (Not to sound overly self righteous, but, I always warn when I pass.) As I got alongside one, his buddy, who was about 5 feet ahead, shot off to the left, directly in front of me. I braked hard and in my frustration, yelled, 'Signal!'
This morning, after my run, I was pedaling to work on the bike trail. As I got to my turnoff, I looked back. There wasn't anyone there, so I began to slow and move over to the turn off. A pack of cyclist (I have no idea how I missed seeing them) came up on me, whistling and warning. "Signal!" someone yelled in frustration. The pack zoomed around me, as I came to a halt mid-trail. Crow has a bitter aftertaste.
As I continued on, I was flooded with self doubt. 'Am I really doing this? Am I some kind of joke? I can't do this!"
Over the past few months, I have developed an inner coach. One day, in circuit training, I was assigned 40 burpees. I had done 2, when I stopped to feel sorry for myself and complain about not wanting to do them. "Come on, Iris! Keep going! You are already 2 closer to 40 than you were when you started!" And the other day, on my 3rd set of 20 push ups: "Come on, Iris! You have already done 56! What is 4 more? Just get it done!"
So, this morning, as I was feeling defeated and sad, that inner coach said: " What do you mean you can't do this? You are doing it!" What is really cool? That inner coach is right! And what is even cooler? That inner coach is my own soul. I have that in me!
We even swam tonight, picking up the pace. I love the pool at night.
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