Transitions

Transitions

We spent Saturday in San Francisco, walking around town, looking at stuff. No offense to those who love that city, but I don't love that city. Having grown up in Seattle in the 1970's, I understand what happens when a city becomes gentrified and turned over to the tourists, so I can see beneath the façade of San Francisco. But the more JE and I discuss what we experienced there, the more we feel like we may have missed the big tado in that city. Yes, it was lovely, and the were some neat elements there, but the soul of the city was missing. Which is funny, because that is what people say about Los Angeles. And yet, I've seen the multifaceted, brilliant gem that is the soul of LA, gleaming in the Korean BBQ and spas in Korea town, radiant in the murals that coat the city in the Latin districts, succulent in the pastry of the street vendor selling churros. This city pulses with life. From what I saw in San Francisco, I need to see more, and yet there is no draw there for me.  Don't get me wrong, we had a great time, but I wonder what makes people go there on repeat visits.

 I had a moment as I was picking s fe postcards, when I realized I was looking for a postcard to send my mom.

We returned home yesterday, feeling like I needed to get home and take care of some things. It's been almost two weeks since I left. It feels like a lifetime.

Watching dad hobble around makes me want to be ever so careful with my health. It is so painful to see how much he hurts. I spent the day trying to ensure that he will have the things he needs to make him comfortable while he is visiting. And some things for him for my sake, as well: a few new polo-style shirts and some Hawaiian print button downs, not exactly his style, but not terrible. If he likes them, I'll replace the buttons with tiny magnets. Diabetes sucks. Dad no longer is able to use buttons because he has lost feeling in his fingers.

My house underwent a few changes today. My cabinets that held mixing bowls, now hold a few easy cook canned items. Just rearranging things so that dad will have easier access.

I'm not sure how this will work. I'm not sure how autonomous dad can be these days. Though, doubtless, he want to be completely independent. 

I think I need to pledge to myself to take care, always. Watch those rascally pounds that want to creep on; be so careful of the fat and sugar that can steal the feeling from hands and feet, sight from eyes; keep moving and bending and stretching so that arthritis has no invitation. 

One of my main motivators in training was to overcome the stagnation of my health. Just thinking about a stagnant pond and what happens when there is no fresh water going in or out of it. So much of my body is made of water. If I remain stagnant for any period of time, I'll turn green and grow algae, or worse... What do I want my future to look like? Not like my parents... And so there are things which I need to do now, like watch my intake and my output.

So, on that note, I need to rethink my expectations. With dad coming, I will have another big something in my life. And work is coming up this week (thank goodness.)  an hour a day? Best time for me is early morning. (in honesty, I luxuriated in bed this morning, with a cat purring contentedly in my armpit and the sun peeking through the curtain. Who could blame me, although there was a great deal of inner turmoil, knowing that if I didn't get my swim in at that time, the likely hood of fitting it in at all was diminishing by the moment. In the end, I'd never did get my swim in today. Nor my run. Nor my yoga or anything much but straightening the house in prep for dad's arrival. And also in honesty, I'm feeling so gooey and gross, I had to give myself pep-thoughts as I was walking through HomeDepot: it's ok, you're still doing well, give yourself a break, you just lost your mom, you can get back into your exercise routine soon, because you know how good you feel afterward, but right now what you are doing is very valid!)

Self love and forgiveness is important. I need to remember that about now.

Plan for the week October 2-9

Monday
Swim a mile
Prep house for dad:
Handicap bench for shower, bars for toilet, raise bed 
Grocery shop
Dinner:  Chinese chicken salad

Tuesday:
Bike around back bay 
Clean fridge get rid of anything not wholly healthful 
Get ready for class
Rent car
Pick dad up at airport
Mark map for dad
Dinner to go:  tuna sandwiches

Wednesday
Run
Nike club fit
Pool time with dad?
Show dad around town 
Beach time? 
Spend time on jacket
Dinner: Thai curry

Thursday:
Bike to work
Work
Bike from work
Dinner: Steak, asparagus, brown rice
Yoga

Friday:
Bike to work
Work
Bike home
Dinner: Tuscan bread soup and grilled cheese
Swim

Saturday:
Take dad on a field trip
Run a bit