This body of mine is a pile of organized goo. Every bit is dedicated to some purpose. Like clockwork, my circadian rhythms tend to the keeping me on a functional track.
The past couple weeks, those rhythms have had very little home. I feel off kilter. This week and a half seem like a month and I'm tired. This trip home is supposed to feel like a mini vacation.
We stopped by the Capitol building in Olympia this morning. It's marble halls and Tiffany glass, every detail in brass, such a beautiful place!
Tonight we had Tia's plum pork. She braised pork in broth and white wine, adds plums, onions, and a bunch of herbs. Nice, with nice bread and minty, cheesy beets. Yum
Tomorrow, the Redwood Forest
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Journeying
We woke early, sleep was elusive. Put on our running shoes and took off up the hill. It felt so good to be out in the cold morning air. It was so cold, JE kept us running. He cooled down too fast otherwise. It's nice to have this very female second layer of fat, sometimes.
The route that I ran last week had been closed to traffic. This morning it was wide open and full of big trucks with big dogs. It had been such a blessing to me that it had been closed. Nice.
Lisa came to say goodbye, and we dropped by dad's to take the left over food from the week. Knowing he is on his way down in a week is a huge consolation. I don't know that I could have left him there otherwise.
JE and I drove a little further to get to Roslyn, the town where the TV show, Northern Exposure was filmed in the early-mid 90's. It was fun to see some of the places we grew up. Roslyn has a huge history beyond the show. We really enjoyed the museum. They let me investigate some old historical garments- hands-on! Crazy! One of the bonnets was literally falling apart in my hands.
At this moment, we are on a ferry, crossing Puget Sound to get to Bremerton where we will stay with JE's aunt and uncle. They live on one of the little lakes in the area,a sweet peaceful home.
I finally have time to feel the gravity...
The route that I ran last week had been closed to traffic. This morning it was wide open and full of big trucks with big dogs. It had been such a blessing to me that it had been closed. Nice.
Lisa came to say goodbye, and we dropped by dad's to take the left over food from the week. Knowing he is on his way down in a week is a huge consolation. I don't know that I could have left him there otherwise.
JE and I drove a little further to get to Roslyn, the town where the TV show, Northern Exposure was filmed in the early-mid 90's. It was fun to see some of the places we grew up. Roslyn has a huge history beyond the show. We really enjoyed the museum. They let me investigate some old historical garments- hands-on! Crazy! One of the bonnets was literally falling apart in my hands.
At this moment, we are on a ferry, crossing Puget Sound to get to Bremerton where we will stay with JE's aunt and uncle. They live on one of the little lakes in the area,a sweet peaceful home.
I finally have time to feel the gravity...
New adventures
If you ever find yourself in this neck 'o the woods, go check out Stan's Merry Mart. Awesome. Just awesome. It's cowboy/rancher/mechanic all rolled into one. It's a heckuva lot of fun. I'll be dreaming of snap-front western-style shirts.
There Have been so many loose ends that have needed attention. The number one being: what do we do with dad? It's up to him, but he needs some care. JE and I bought a one way ticket for him to our house. The condition is that there is always a roundtrip in the future. He is excited to bring down his snorkel and mask for the sea, his swimsuit for the pool, his appetite for my cooking and himself for the new adventure. it's a temporary arrangement, but a good one for now. I'm just relieved he is willing to fly down rather than drive his old jalopy.
Still aching for a run, and feeling like a pudding. I need some routine.
There Have been so many loose ends that have needed attention. The number one being: what do we do with dad? It's up to him, but he needs some care. JE and I bought a one way ticket for him to our house. The condition is that there is always a roundtrip in the future. He is excited to bring down his snorkel and mask for the sea, his swimsuit for the pool, his appetite for my cooking and himself for the new adventure. it's a temporary arrangement, but a good one for now. I'm just relieved he is willing to fly down rather than drive his old jalopy.
Still aching for a run, and feeling like a pudding. I need some routine.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Eulogy
Rochelle Dawn was born to Cecil and Iris in Australia, on September #, 19##. She is the second of three daughters. Her older sister is Margaret. Her younger sister is Noelene. She is survived by both sisters and many cousins. She had the good fortune of knowing her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Mom was often ill as a child and spent time on her grandparents farm in the country and with her extended family.
At age fifteen, a friend invited Rowie to start attending activities for youth at the LDS church. Rochelle loved the social scene, the activities and the Gospel. She invited a lot of friends to come to activities, who later were baptized. After she graduated high school and moved to Sydney, she worked as a data entry specialist, feeding large manilla punch cards into a computer. She continued to attend church at the local ward.
Rochelle loved to tell her stories. When mom was 21, she was an important part of her church community. She was the ward organist, sang in the choir and taught primary. One day the stake president asked Rochelle's bishop who the young lady was playing the organ. When the bishop explained that Rochelle was not yet a member of the church, the stake president told the bishop, that if mom wanted to keep her callings, she needed to be baptized. Mom was baptized two weeks later.
One night mom was walking on a cobble street in Sydney, on her way to choir practice. She clicked down the street wearing a flared pencil skirt, a cashmere twinset, pearls and stiletto heels. She was tall and elegant, with a cute pixie cut and sassy attitude. An American sailor, on R&R at Sydney harbor, stopped and asked her if she knew where the LDS church was. Rochelle told him to follow her, that she was going there herself. Dad's little joke is that he has been following her ever since.
Dad wasted no time in his attempt at courtship during the three days he was stationed in Sydney, but good Australian girls had nothing to do with American sailors. Dad finally succeeded in taking mom on a date to the Sydney Zoo, but with mixed results. He asked her to marry him, which she refused, but he did get a kiss, which he recalls as akin to kissing a clam.
They communicated by mail for the next year, but dad seemed to disappear. He recounts being a very active dater and was engaged or nearly engaged to three girls at the same time.
Dad was in the navy, stationed in southern California, when mom jumped on a boat with her friends. Mom docked in Los Angeles, and though she looked everywhere, could not locate the Statue of Liberty in the Port of Los Angeles. Rochelle and Andy were soon dating. Rochelle worked for the Australian Government Trade Commission in Pasadena, California.
Andy was soon deployed to the Vietnam war, where he served for nearly a year. Rochelle moved to British Columbia, closer to her friends. I am told that there were a lot of steamy letters exchanged.
The day Andy was honorably discharged, he jumped on a plane and went up to Vancouver where he took a taxi to Rochelle's flop house and gave her a ring. She accepted. They were married civily on November 3, 1967, and sealed in the Los Angeles temple a year later.
As newlyweds, Dad worked in Seattle. Mom got her green card and worked for Dairy Gold in data processing. Two years after they were married, they were blessed with their first child, Lisa Rachel. Two years later their second daughter, Amanda Iris. And two years after that Anna Tia Marie. Everybody came home to a sweet little house in Ballard.
Briefly, the family lived on Queen Ann Hill near Seattle. Then bought a little house in Falls City. These were a lot of happy times, when we went camping in the Cascade Mountains with the ward. Mom loved to get in her car and drive, taking her kids with her, as far east as Idaho, north to Vancouver, and south to Oregon. She was quick to point out beautiful views, mountains, trees, flowers, animals and buildings. She loved the quaint and lovely and the delicious.
Before church was changed to a three hour block, we met in the morning for Sunday school and later in the afternoon we would have sacrament meeting. Between the meetings, Rochelle would find a quiet place by a stream and feed her family with a picnic lunch she had brought. Sometimes, she would pick up French fries to make "chippy sandwiches." She loved sweets, particularly black licorice, and Cadbury chocolate. Anything that reminded her of Australia.
A couple times a year, she would phone home. She missed her family and often lamented that she lived so far away. When her husband was away, working in Alaska, Rochelle often felt entirely alone in her life.
As Rochelle's health began to decline, she moved her family eastward, trying to escape the cold wet of Seattle. Cle Elum had been a sweet place to camp, so we stayed there for a bit, but soon moved on to Ellensburg where Rochelle opened a candy store. She loved the interaction with people, but the shop was not open long. We soon moved on to the Wenatchee Valley.
Wenatchee seemed to hold a lot of answers for mom. She had a family of friends she could trust and rely on, there were good schools for her children, there was bread on the table. I think coming here afforded the first real sense of security she had felt in years.
Rochelle worked as a nanny and a receptionist when we first arrived in Wenatchee. Andy continued working in refrigeration and air conditioning. There are a lot of great memories from this period of time. Missionary dinners, parties with friends, camping trips and dances. Rochelle was a busy mother, chauffeuring her three teenaged daughters around the town. She was always supportive of our interests, allowing us time for our theatrical pursuits, friends, church activities, karate lessons, gymnasts and dance. She joined the ranks of the mothers who never miss an activity in which her children were involved.
One of my favorite memories of my mother is when I was just learning to drive. We were on our way up the steep hill on Kentucky road. As we approached a stop sign, she told me not to stop and became a bit frantic as I pulled to a stop in our old stick shift Fiat. But I was stubbornly a follower of the law and knew that I was a better driver than my mother thought. Try as I might, I couldn't get that car to go forward. Mom was laughing herself silly in the passenger seat, begging me to stop and let her drive. My pride wouldn't let me and in the end, the car rolled backward past two orchards down the hill before I could get it going forward. This time, as i approached the sign, I slowed down and kept on going, laughing hysterically beside my mom.
Rochelle began making her Mylar halos to sell at street fairs and festivals in 1987. Rochelle got a lot of happiness putting her halos on her customers heads, she loved that. She sold her products along parade routes all over Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah, and even at the Rose parade in Pasadena, California. She had an insatiable travel bug which took her far and kept her going, even when business wasn't very good. It was really about being able meet new people, and see new places.
People loved Rochelle. And she loved people. She was quick to recognize a kindness and say a heartfelt thank you. She had a great sense of fun.
Mom could be unexpectedly kind and empathetic. Many of you have some memory of something mom did for you, which was wholly selfless. This was who she wanted to be. And who she was in her heart.
As she grew older, she became more and more ill. Sometimes her illness prevented her from a lot of the things she wanted to do. She spent time in a nursing home. In January last year, she was hospitalized after she had respiratory failure. After a week in the intensive care unit on life support, her family and friends gathered around her to bid her farewell. We watched sadly as we expected her next breath to be her last. She motioned Lisa over to whisper a dying wish in her ear. Mom's raspy voice rattled the words "on the bottom shelf, in the freeze at Fred Meyer. Popsicles, Mango orange. Go get them." Mom recovered quickly and was moved home within the week.
During this past year, mom mellowed. She had learned to communicate her feeling without so much fire. She appreciated the things she loved a little more and longed to be with her family. She traveled to Portland Oregon many times to visit my sisters. She went to Portland for her birthday three weeks ago, and had dinner with her family at a Chinese restaurant. She had a great time.
The night before mom passed, she was surrounded by her family. We chatted with her for a while, and while she wasn't able to speak or open her eyes, she communicated with us by blinking her closed eyelids. Her sweet loving spirit was so strong and she let us know over and over again how much she loved us and was glad we were there.
The next day, mom passed quickly. She was surrounded by her husband of nearly 44 years and her daughters. We will always remember mom with love.
At age fifteen, a friend invited Rowie to start attending activities for youth at the LDS church. Rochelle loved the social scene, the activities and the Gospel. She invited a lot of friends to come to activities, who later were baptized. After she graduated high school and moved to Sydney, she worked as a data entry specialist, feeding large manilla punch cards into a computer. She continued to attend church at the local ward.
Rochelle loved to tell her stories. When mom was 21, she was an important part of her church community. She was the ward organist, sang in the choir and taught primary. One day the stake president asked Rochelle's bishop who the young lady was playing the organ. When the bishop explained that Rochelle was not yet a member of the church, the stake president told the bishop, that if mom wanted to keep her callings, she needed to be baptized. Mom was baptized two weeks later.
One night mom was walking on a cobble street in Sydney, on her way to choir practice. She clicked down the street wearing a flared pencil skirt, a cashmere twinset, pearls and stiletto heels. She was tall and elegant, with a cute pixie cut and sassy attitude. An American sailor, on R&R at Sydney harbor, stopped and asked her if she knew where the LDS church was. Rochelle told him to follow her, that she was going there herself. Dad's little joke is that he has been following her ever since.
Dad wasted no time in his attempt at courtship during the three days he was stationed in Sydney, but good Australian girls had nothing to do with American sailors. Dad finally succeeded in taking mom on a date to the Sydney Zoo, but with mixed results. He asked her to marry him, which she refused, but he did get a kiss, which he recalls as akin to kissing a clam.
They communicated by mail for the next year, but dad seemed to disappear. He recounts being a very active dater and was engaged or nearly engaged to three girls at the same time.
Dad was in the navy, stationed in southern California, when mom jumped on a boat with her friends. Mom docked in Los Angeles, and though she looked everywhere, could not locate the Statue of Liberty in the Port of Los Angeles. Rochelle and Andy were soon dating. Rochelle worked for the Australian Government Trade Commission in Pasadena, California.
Andy was soon deployed to the Vietnam war, where he served for nearly a year. Rochelle moved to British Columbia, closer to her friends. I am told that there were a lot of steamy letters exchanged.
The day Andy was honorably discharged, he jumped on a plane and went up to Vancouver where he took a taxi to Rochelle's flop house and gave her a ring. She accepted. They were married civily on November 3, 1967, and sealed in the Los Angeles temple a year later.
As newlyweds, Dad worked in Seattle. Mom got her green card and worked for Dairy Gold in data processing. Two years after they were married, they were blessed with their first child, Lisa Rachel. Two years later their second daughter, Amanda Iris. And two years after that Anna Tia Marie. Everybody came home to a sweet little house in Ballard.
Briefly, the family lived on Queen Ann Hill near Seattle. Then bought a little house in Falls City. These were a lot of happy times, when we went camping in the Cascade Mountains with the ward. Mom loved to get in her car and drive, taking her kids with her, as far east as Idaho, north to Vancouver, and south to Oregon. She was quick to point out beautiful views, mountains, trees, flowers, animals and buildings. She loved the quaint and lovely and the delicious.
Before church was changed to a three hour block, we met in the morning for Sunday school and later in the afternoon we would have sacrament meeting. Between the meetings, Rochelle would find a quiet place by a stream and feed her family with a picnic lunch she had brought. Sometimes, she would pick up French fries to make "chippy sandwiches." She loved sweets, particularly black licorice, and Cadbury chocolate. Anything that reminded her of Australia.
A couple times a year, she would phone home. She missed her family and often lamented that she lived so far away. When her husband was away, working in Alaska, Rochelle often felt entirely alone in her life.
As Rochelle's health began to decline, she moved her family eastward, trying to escape the cold wet of Seattle. Cle Elum had been a sweet place to camp, so we stayed there for a bit, but soon moved on to Ellensburg where Rochelle opened a candy store. She loved the interaction with people, but the shop was not open long. We soon moved on to the Wenatchee Valley.
Wenatchee seemed to hold a lot of answers for mom. She had a family of friends she could trust and rely on, there were good schools for her children, there was bread on the table. I think coming here afforded the first real sense of security she had felt in years.
Rochelle worked as a nanny and a receptionist when we first arrived in Wenatchee. Andy continued working in refrigeration and air conditioning. There are a lot of great memories from this period of time. Missionary dinners, parties with friends, camping trips and dances. Rochelle was a busy mother, chauffeuring her three teenaged daughters around the town. She was always supportive of our interests, allowing us time for our theatrical pursuits, friends, church activities, karate lessons, gymnasts and dance. She joined the ranks of the mothers who never miss an activity in which her children were involved.
One of my favorite memories of my mother is when I was just learning to drive. We were on our way up the steep hill on Kentucky road. As we approached a stop sign, she told me not to stop and became a bit frantic as I pulled to a stop in our old stick shift Fiat. But I was stubbornly a follower of the law and knew that I was a better driver than my mother thought. Try as I might, I couldn't get that car to go forward. Mom was laughing herself silly in the passenger seat, begging me to stop and let her drive. My pride wouldn't let me and in the end, the car rolled backward past two orchards down the hill before I could get it going forward. This time, as i approached the sign, I slowed down and kept on going, laughing hysterically beside my mom.
Rochelle began making her Mylar halos to sell at street fairs and festivals in 1987. Rochelle got a lot of happiness putting her halos on her customers heads, she loved that. She sold her products along parade routes all over Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah, and even at the Rose parade in Pasadena, California. She had an insatiable travel bug which took her far and kept her going, even when business wasn't very good. It was really about being able meet new people, and see new places.
People loved Rochelle. And she loved people. She was quick to recognize a kindness and say a heartfelt thank you. She had a great sense of fun.
Mom could be unexpectedly kind and empathetic. Many of you have some memory of something mom did for you, which was wholly selfless. This was who she wanted to be. And who she was in her heart.
As she grew older, she became more and more ill. Sometimes her illness prevented her from a lot of the things she wanted to do. She spent time in a nursing home. In January last year, she was hospitalized after she had respiratory failure. After a week in the intensive care unit on life support, her family and friends gathered around her to bid her farewell. We watched sadly as we expected her next breath to be her last. She motioned Lisa over to whisper a dying wish in her ear. Mom's raspy voice rattled the words "on the bottom shelf, in the freeze at Fred Meyer. Popsicles, Mango orange. Go get them." Mom recovered quickly and was moved home within the week.
During this past year, mom mellowed. She had learned to communicate her feeling without so much fire. She appreciated the things she loved a little more and longed to be with her family. She traveled to Portland Oregon many times to visit my sisters. She went to Portland for her birthday three weeks ago, and had dinner with her family at a Chinese restaurant. She had a great time.
The night before mom passed, she was surrounded by her family. We chatted with her for a while, and while she wasn't able to speak or open her eyes, she communicated with us by blinking her closed eyelids. Her sweet loving spirit was so strong and she let us know over and over again how much she loved us and was glad we were there.
The next day, mom passed quickly. She was surrounded by her husband of nearly 44 years and her daughters. We will always remember mom with love.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Wake
I love the pace of these days, just hanging out with my family, remembering the good times and sometimes the bad. Forgiveness is key to joy.
JE and Tia's Matt arrived just after we settled into the house. It is good to have my JE here. He is my strength and support.
This evening, I finished moms eulogy, just as dinner was finishing. Renting this home is the vest thing we have done since being here. We were able to gather together and fix a healthy dinner and sit at our leisure to eat. We watched the sun go down over the mountains.
I'm aching for a run, or a bike ride, or a swim. Or a massage. I may need to collapse a for a bit after the funeral. It has been a long week.
Tomorrow...
JE and Tia's Matt arrived just after we settled into the house. It is good to have my JE here. He is my strength and support.
This evening, I finished moms eulogy, just as dinner was finishing. Renting this home is the vest thing we have done since being here. We were able to gather together and fix a healthy dinner and sit at our leisure to eat. We watched the sun go down over the mountains.
I'm aching for a run, or a bike ride, or a swim. Or a massage. I may need to collapse a for a bit after the funeral. It has been a long week.
Tomorrow...
If you are squeamish, skip this entry
I slept poorly, having been cajoled and strangely warned by my sisters that dressing mom would potentially destroy me. I prayed hard last night for a bit of guidance and woke in the night thinking: oh, that's all it is? No big deal, I can do that. But when I awoke in ernest, the fear flooded me again. When do I let fear stop me?
As I pulled into the mortuary, I was greeted by a couple women who were mom's friends. They hugged me and smiled. We sat in the lobby and they listened as I talked about mom's passing. We cried together and communed. It was precious time. I thought seeing mom would be difficult, but she looked so peaceful and rested, untormented and the sadness was gone from her face. As I was about to touch her, I braced myself, reminding myself that her flesh would be cold, and then laid my hand on the soft skin of her shoulder. My mother. Her hair had been cleaned and brushed, her face was clean and smooth. No makeup, no embalming, just her. She looked beautiful.
My thoughts on why I wanted to do this: it was the final personal act of service I could do for her physical body.
The four of us dressed her, with Russ the funeral director assisting when he was needed. We had just finished dressing her and I had situated her arms to look a little more peaceful, when dad walked in. He saw mom completely dressed and lying in state. Such a tender mercy that he hadn't walked in while we were dressing her. Yes, it was sweet, but also a bit intense and I'd have hated for him to have seen all of that. On Thursday, it was a tender mercy that dad walked into moms room the very moment she relaxed into death, and missed the difficulties she had had just before that final moment.
She visits my imagination, free and dancing. A woman blasted out of bondage and liberated from so much suffering. I'm so happy for her. Those last and final moments of her life seemed like they hurt really bad.
Tonight dad, Lisa and I, went out for Thai food. It was so nice to have a meal together in a quiet place. I am in charge of writing and reading the eulogy, so I needed to spend some time with dad, asking timelines for things in our lives. It was fun to hear him talk like that. It surprised me how many addresses he could spit out from 45 plus years ago. Lisa retrieved a book I made for mom and dad's 25th wedding anniversary. It was a family history class project at college. I transcribed mom and dad giving their life histories (it took me about 200 hours to transcribe 8 hours worth of tape. Essentially, that was how I learned to type!). There are old photos laced around the book, some very old photos of both mom and dad. It is interesting reading back over this. I can hear mom's voice as I read, because they are her words.
I've got a lot of work to do on her eulogy. There are so many things I want to share, but really want it to all go together in a positive and uplifting light. Mom had a great sense of humor, I want this to be fun, and do her justice. I think some of her early years will shock those who knew her in her later years. Your prayers please!
As I pulled into the mortuary, I was greeted by a couple women who were mom's friends. They hugged me and smiled. We sat in the lobby and they listened as I talked about mom's passing. We cried together and communed. It was precious time. I thought seeing mom would be difficult, but she looked so peaceful and rested, untormented and the sadness was gone from her face. As I was about to touch her, I braced myself, reminding myself that her flesh would be cold, and then laid my hand on the soft skin of her shoulder. My mother. Her hair had been cleaned and brushed, her face was clean and smooth. No makeup, no embalming, just her. She looked beautiful.
My thoughts on why I wanted to do this: it was the final personal act of service I could do for her physical body.
The four of us dressed her, with Russ the funeral director assisting when he was needed. We had just finished dressing her and I had situated her arms to look a little more peaceful, when dad walked in. He saw mom completely dressed and lying in state. Such a tender mercy that he hadn't walked in while we were dressing her. Yes, it was sweet, but also a bit intense and I'd have hated for him to have seen all of that. On Thursday, it was a tender mercy that dad walked into moms room the very moment she relaxed into death, and missed the difficulties she had had just before that final moment.
She visits my imagination, free and dancing. A woman blasted out of bondage and liberated from so much suffering. I'm so happy for her. Those last and final moments of her life seemed like they hurt really bad.
Tonight dad, Lisa and I, went out for Thai food. It was so nice to have a meal together in a quiet place. I am in charge of writing and reading the eulogy, so I needed to spend some time with dad, asking timelines for things in our lives. It was fun to hear him talk like that. It surprised me how many addresses he could spit out from 45 plus years ago. Lisa retrieved a book I made for mom and dad's 25th wedding anniversary. It was a family history class project at college. I transcribed mom and dad giving their life histories (it took me about 200 hours to transcribe 8 hours worth of tape. Essentially, that was how I learned to type!). There are old photos laced around the book, some very old photos of both mom and dad. It is interesting reading back over this. I can hear mom's voice as I read, because they are her words.
I've got a lot of work to do on her eulogy. There are so many things I want to share, but really want it to all go together in a positive and uplifting light. Mom had a great sense of humor, I want this to be fun, and do her justice. I think some of her early years will shock those who knew her in her later years. Your prayers please!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Longest day
It seems impossible that I've only been here a couple days. Time is a strange thing.
I ran this morning, half heartedly, and mostly just to get to a place to be able to make a few phone calls. It was beautiful and hot by the time I got back.
Most of my day, I spent with my sisters, visiting a funeral home and cemetery. Mom's friend has given my parents a plot. Mom will be buried there, in a pine box under a shade tree overlooking the peaceful valley. She would be very happy. There is a local coffin maker who makes beautiful pine coffins.
Russ, at Telford mortuary, was really a helpful and even conceded to laugh at my family's often inappropriate humor. Lisa asked if mom wakes up, can we get a refund? Is there a reshelving fee?
I've been very busy. Aside from fundal arrangements, We are trying to convince dad that he needs to come stay with us in California "for a little while." He needs a psycho analysis, and to establish a routine for himself. He needs care, a home and some proper nutrition and a hand to get exercising. His weight will come off if he comes swimming with me often, and controls his food addiction and diabetes.
We rented a house for Sunday, through Tuesday nights. It will be really good go have a place where we can hang together as a family, and also a place to receive visitors. The problem with hoarding is how badly it alienates family and others from lives.
There is just so much to think about and do. My sisters are trying to convince me to not go dress my mother tomorrow morning. It was difficult in life to touch her because of her lack of self care. Tomorrow will be difficult with a possibility of amazing. I hope my conviction that we should tend our own dead, holds true in the face of it.
Despite the Difficult and Distressing circumstances that surround death, today was a sweet day. Mom's spirit was with us often, and there were times of sadness, but most of the day was spent rejoicing in just being able to be together as a family.
I ran this morning, half heartedly, and mostly just to get to a place to be able to make a few phone calls. It was beautiful and hot by the time I got back.
Most of my day, I spent with my sisters, visiting a funeral home and cemetery. Mom's friend has given my parents a plot. Mom will be buried there, in a pine box under a shade tree overlooking the peaceful valley. She would be very happy. There is a local coffin maker who makes beautiful pine coffins.
Russ, at Telford mortuary, was really a helpful and even conceded to laugh at my family's often inappropriate humor. Lisa asked if mom wakes up, can we get a refund? Is there a reshelving fee?
I've been very busy. Aside from fundal arrangements, We are trying to convince dad that he needs to come stay with us in California "for a little while." He needs a psycho analysis, and to establish a routine for himself. He needs care, a home and some proper nutrition and a hand to get exercising. His weight will come off if he comes swimming with me often, and controls his food addiction and diabetes.
We rented a house for Sunday, through Tuesday nights. It will be really good go have a place where we can hang together as a family, and also a place to receive visitors. The problem with hoarding is how badly it alienates family and others from lives.
There is just so much to think about and do. My sisters are trying to convince me to not go dress my mother tomorrow morning. It was difficult in life to touch her because of her lack of self care. Tomorrow will be difficult with a possibility of amazing. I hope my conviction that we should tend our own dead, holds true in the face of it.
Despite the Difficult and Distressing circumstances that surround death, today was a sweet day. Mom's spirit was with us often, and there were times of sadness, but most of the day was spent rejoicing in just being able to be together as a family.
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