Merry Christmas Eve

JE and I drove out to Springville for part of our family Christmas celebration, this evening. It was a simple gathering, with JE's sister's family and his mom. Dinner. The nativity as performed by my nieces and nephews. A game called Things. And dessert as supplied by yours truly (it's so disappointing to spend do much time preparing something that no one eats).

I picked up my great niece tonight. She was crawling into the next room to relieve her brother who was bawling his head off for being punished in a time out. Generally, I don't pick up babies. I've become excessively gun shy, so to speak. But life is about making choices, and living with the consequences. If I want these little people to be in my life later, I need to be in their lives now. How many fears have I come over in the past little while? I can do this. Admittedly, this first interaction with her was to hand her off to her father, my nephew. But I did play with her later. And her brother.

On the way home, JE and I stopped by the cemetery. As we were driving past, on our way to dinner, many families had gathered at the cemetery in the brilliant golden light of sunset, to decorate and place candles on family graves. On our way home, the cemetery was filled with luminaries and Mylar Christmas trees. It glittered and shimmered in the cold night air. We parked the car and walked the perimeter, outside the tall iron fence, and looked in at the lights. It was still and very cold, the stars were magnificently reflecting that light right back at us.

You know that song by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas? And remember when Judy Garland sang it to Margaret O'Brien just before Margaret went stark-raving and ran out to dig up her dead dolls in Meet Me in St Louis? Remember the sweet melancholy and strange nostalgic feeling in that one song? That just about sums up this Christmas for me. Thoughts of my dead family filled my mind and how very blessed I am because I knew them. JE's father is buried in that cemetery. Someday, we should go light candles for him. Way up in Portland, Oregon, my family muddles through their first Christmas without my mom. Wish I could be there with them.

I talked to my father this evening. He is very happy in Portland and exercising daily at the gym. So far he has lost 26 pounds.