Update

There is a red trench style raincoat on the clearance rack at REI which is incredibly tempting to splurge. It is more of a symbol of what I want in my life than a necessity at the present. California has been hot and dry, and I'm ready for a change of weather. And place. I love it here, so it's not an easy decision. 

Things have been on the rapid change program, our anchors are being pulled up: my gram passed away last March, BC got married (!!!) and moved away, and our condo is finally back in the black. There are many other smaller ropes flung free, but those are the main disrupters. Our feet are itchy with the need to travel. We are still figuring out the ins and outs of how to make that happen. 

We are still running, and riding bikes mostly to commute (the lawsuit took some of the fun out of biking for a while, but we are back at it)( wait, did I write about the lawsuit? The guy who lost control of his bike because he was going around a blind corner too fast and over corrected when he saw a utility truck parked in the middle of the trail and skidded into JE and broke his [not JE's] collarbone, then sued JE?) (fun times, another reason we haven't traveled foreign lately--that was expensive!)

Reading back over my mom's death and a few other things I found in this blog has inspired me to start this again. I miss the outlet and the opportunity for gratitude.How could I let my beautiful gram's life go undocumented? The two marathons I've completed? And our fun short trips out of town for weekends? I need an attitude adjustment, and a perspective shift. I've been hyper focused on things that aren't important.

We are still doing our CSA box and still love it--going into our third year. Grapes are wicked good this year. Last week I made chicken and grapes, it was delicious. I'll see if I can come up with a recipe for it and post it. 

We ran three miles at crystal cove this evening, before it got too dark to see and we had to slow to a stroll to avoid the holes people dig in the sand. (Why do they do that? When you go on vacation, leave your shovels at home! Take the cannoli!) The first mile is the hardest, warming up isn't easy. But then I feel my rhythmic breath match my pace: two in, two out. I still sigh, which muddles everything as far as rhythm goes, but somehow relaxes my breathing and mind: two in, sighhhhhh. In, one two three, out, one except there is no counting, it's just my head and lungs and heart beating down the path, suspended...

These days I strive for 20 miles a week, but realistically only run 17. Next week, I start work again, so my time on a bike will increase and my time running may need to decrease. I'll plan a bit tomorrow and figure out an ideal.

Plan for the week

It still surprises me, this ease of running. The first half mile is incredibly difficult most days, but then a flick switches and I relax, all ease and strength. Saturday, I flew through 14 miles, 11:39 minute miles, only pausing twice. The final two miles, my toes were on fire. I could feel myself slowing and struggling as I reached for that completely attainable goal. Now I need to add less distance than what I've achieved.

My recovery run on Monday was a tough run. I was really winded, though my pace felt really slow. When I finished I was surprised to learn that I'd run 4 miles with an average pace of 10:46 per mile.

Yesterday, I ran four 10:27 sandwiched between two 12 minute miles. Radiolab is a great distractor from the length. I find myself so tuned into the story being told that I don't realize the length of time I've been running. Stories about color, and The dark side of the earth.

Somehow, we muddled our way through three heads of radicchio last week. Everything from salads to pizza topped with shredded radicchio and goat cheese with a drizzle of true undiluted balsamic-- a precious gift from my food loving little sister. I am surprised how versatile radicchio actually is.

When mixed with tuna, cashews, and beans with a parsley lemon dressing, the bitterness flies away.

Sautéed with balsamic and honey to top Trader Joe's jumbo beef franks and the bitterness is so much more pronounced but in no bad way.

On top of the pizza was my very favorite way-- thin crust with a drizzle of olive oil, a smear of crushed garlic and a shedded head of radicchio and thin slice onions, and the sweet tang of goat cheese. So great!

This morning, I used those darn radishes in a tangine in place of turnips. Their flavor isn't quite what I expected--they're sort of radish-like but without the sharpness. Sort of a cross between a jicama and the best turnip imaginable with notes of dirty radish. They're great, especially in a tangine served over a bed of quinoa--and those roasted chickpeas make the dish! It was a brilliant lunch.

This weeks box isn't the challenge I had with last week's box. Most of the contents are truly simple and easy. But the quantity! It probably weighed 25 pounds! Over the two weeks between Christmas and New Year, the farm goes on vacation. So this week's box needs a bit of rationing of some of the heartier veg.

This week's box contains:
8 heads of Broccoli
3 small red onions
2 butternut squash
5 fat carrots
5 huge yams
A big bunch of spinach
A giant head of napa
Chocolate mint
1 bunch beets with greens intact
1 head romain
1 bunch mustard greens
1 large fennel with greens
10 granny apples
7 navel oranges
9 plums

Plan for the week:

Wednesday was
Broccoli Mac&Cheese
And run 1 mile slow
Run 4 miles steady and faster
1 mile slow

Thursday
Broccoli beef with brown rice
Yoga

Friday
Sautéed greens with polenta and cheese, fennel salad with apples
Sailing (class room)
Run an easy 5 miles

Saturday
Lunch: Chinese chicken salad
Dinner with friends
Sail with Debbie if there is wind...
Run 15.5 miles

Sunday
Roasted root veggies and chicken
Yoga
Dana point boat parade?

Monday
Squash and spinach with pasta, fish, nuts, etc
Run 5 miles +strides (6 intervals of 20 second sprint followed by 2 minute slow run)

Tuesday
Check out leftover situation And figure something out
Swim with class
Bike ride?
Last nutrition class of semester

Wednesday
Pick up box and plan week of meals
7 miles slow/fast (5 miles quick pace with 1 mile slow bookends)

CSA

My space between articles is growing, not intentionally. I've been super busy with work, training, being a sassy wife, a good student, and taking care of people I love, etc...

Another part of my life, which I recognize as a huge blessing, is making meals from my CSA basket--though I recently learned that the company I use isn't a true CSA--I don't own part of the farm. The farmer has his farm buddies contribute to the basket and the combined effort is my basket. This is fine with me, I still get fresh, organic, tasty local food! Some of which requires research to know How on earth to cook it!

Today's basket included:

3 radicchio,
6 Spanish radishes (they look like the devil's beets),
1 dozen fuyu persimmons,
1 large green leaf lettuce,
1 bunch Spinach,
2 bunches fine parsley,
1 bunch Cilantro,
1 bunch Tuscan kale,
1 butternut squash,
6 russet potatoes,
1 dozen pears,
And a few peppers.

We also add on 1 dozen pasture raised eggs

It's a whole lot of food, particularly fruit. Lately, I've been making pear butter and have been sending it to my family with birthday packages.
I believe I've purchased radicchio, perhaps twice in my entire life... What does a girl do with three heads the size as small cabbages? There are some recipes on the Internet I'm going to try and in an effort to organize a meal plan, I've posted them on my pintrest board (Irispapyrus is my call sign, and the board is called CSA Meal planning... In case you were wondering).

This evening I am making the Butternut Squash, Kale and Almond Salad. The diference will be that I am serving it hot, over brown rice with a poached egg.

I also made a large salad with the lettuce, spinach, pomegranate, persimmons, walnuts, sheep milk feta, and a basic vinegarette.

My run schedule corresponds with the Runkeeper app's marathon training. This morning I ran 5 miles--my quick two were 9:54 minute miles. I'm speeding up...

Beets

Research project for my nutrition controversies class:

Beets, It’s What’s for Breakfast My friend Bronwen introduced me to the beet smoothie. As she scrubbed a fist sized beet, cut it into quarters and tossed it into a blender, she told me about her recent turn to veganism and roller-derby. For a long time, she struggled to maintain her energy throughout the 3-4 hour practice; until she discovered the recipe for beet smoothie online. From that point forward she made beets part of her Tuesday evening derby ritual.

Curious, I started looking into the benefits of juicing, and stumbled upon an article in Runner’s World Magazine about juicing. It mentioned a study on athletes involving beet juice and the effects on endurance performance, which is something I can benefit from as I train for my marathon. But the studies didn’t stop there; it seems that beets are getting a lot of attention in the world of nutritional science. Findings are also showing benefits in lowering blood pressure and maintaining liver health. In 2009, Andrew M. Jones, Stephen J. Bailey, Paul Winyard, Anni Vanhatalo, Jamie R. Blackwell, Fred J. DiMenna, Daryl P. Wilkerson, Joanna Tarr, and Nigel Benjamin studied the effects of beet juice on athletes. Nine men between ages 19-38 were given 500 milliliters of beet juice or black currant juice for six consecutive days. On the last three days, they took part in increasingly long and difficult cycling tests. Those who had been given the beet juice had a longer time to exhaustion, lower blood pressure, and were able to pedal harder than those who had the black currant juice.

There is a gamut of articles citing the Jones et al study on beets and athletics. The study itself is under scrutiny from the scientific community because of the very small size of the the actual study and the funders of the project--a beetroot juice company in Britain. However, the findings correlate with other studies on the effects of beet juice on the cardiovascular system. A study in Hypertension magazine (A. J. Webb, N. Patel, S. Loukogeorgakis, M. Okorie, Z. Aboud, S. Misra, R. Rashid, P. Miall, J. Deanfield, N. Benjamin, R. MacAllister, A. J. Hobbs, A. Ahluwalia, 2008) showed that drinking 500mL of beet juice “substantially reduced” blood pressure in healthy adults.

Beets contain high levels of inorganic dietary nitrates. These nitrates are changed into nitrites as they enter the body. Bacteria in the saliva convert the nitrate into nitrite. The nitrites are swallowed and enter the stomach where they are then converted into nitric oxide (NO) or circulate in the blood as nitrites. Blood pressure has been shown to drop in direct correlation to the increase of nitrites in the blood. “Nitrite is a potent vasodilator”  (Webb et al, 2008). This process begins about half an hour after the beets are ingested, and peaks about an hour and a half later. The effects begin to decrease over the next 24 hours. There are ongoing studies on the pharmaceutical benefits for people with cardiovascular disease. “These findings suggest that dietary nitrate underlies the beneficial effects of a vegetable-rich diet and highlights the potential of a “natural” low cost approach for the treatment of cardiovascular disease” (Webb et al, 2008)

Nitrites help protect against endothelial dysfunction (when the inside lining of blood vessels have a problem expanding or contracting with blood flow and cannot function properly). The study also shows that men are more likely to reap the benefits of drinking their beets.  Men and women were given similar amounts per kilogram. Women already have a lower basal blood pressure, higher nitrite levels, and lower body mass than men. After drinking beet juice, the plasma nitrite levels increased in both men and women, those increases were more prominent in women than in men . However the rate of reduced blood pressure was higher in men. It is thought that the apparent lack of effect from increased nitrite levels  in women has to do with the saturation of basal plasma nitrite levels. The difference in the way women utilize nitrites is thought to have something to do with differing bacteria colonizing tongues (Vikas Kapil, Alexandra B. Milsom, Michael Okorie, Sheiva Maleki-Toyserkani, Farihah Akram, Farkhanda Rehman, Shah Arghandawi, Vanessa Pearl, Nigel Benjamin, Stavros Loukogeorgakis, Raymond MacAllister, Adrian J. Hobbs, Andrew J. Webb, Amrita Ahluwalia, 2010) Beets also lend themselves to aiding liver function.

A study in Hungary (Váli L, Stefanovits-Bányai E, Szentmihályi K, Fébel H, Sárdi E, Lugasi A, Kocsis I, Blázovics A., 2007) showed that rat given a treatment of beets in their chow had better resilience than their non-treated counterparts after both had the blood flow diverted from their livers for 45 minutes and reperfused for 15 minutes. Rats who had eaten beets showed that enzymatic antioxidants increased significantly indicating that the beets had a positive effect. “Beets thin bile, allowing it to flow more freely through the liver and into the small intestine.” (Blessing, 2011--this reference is a bit sketchy--her references were scant and inconclusive)

Multiple alternative medicine sites offer techniques to cleanse the liver utilizing beets. Very little could be found on the benefits of a liver cleanse; however, it is persistent throughout the alternative medicine culture. In fact several more trusted sites warn against adverse effects caused by these cleanses. Some sites (like WebMD.com) noted that the liver is very good at removing toxins on it’s own, and cleanses were in essence pointless and sometimes harmful (the jury is still out on this one for me--I know how potent beets can be as a general systems bulldozer).

Beets are a  good source of folate to assist in new tissue growth, magnesium for energy metabolism, vitamin C for healthy immune function, iron to oxygenate the blood, and potassium for proper fluid balance (Sizer, Whitney, 2011). Despite their high carbohydrate content, they are also high in fiber and low in saturated fats. Beets are a loaded with antioxidants for staving off cancer. But wait a moment, aren’t nitrates and nitrites in food a cause for cancer? Studies in the 1970’s showed an increase of cancer in lab animals who were fed sodium nitrate. However, there is no human data to prove this, a fact that processed meat companies are now exploiting and scientists are striving to figure out.

All in all, Bronwyn was onto something: beets are a great way to get energy and micronutrients. They are packed with nitrates which bacteria in the saliva turn to nitrites. Nitrites are shown increase the body’s ability to work hard in athletics and to lower blood pressure in healthy adults. Research is being done to find out how beets affect the liver.  I will continue to add them to smoothies, roast them for dinner, and saute them in citrus juice for salads. And, in case you were wondering, here is Bronwen’s recipe for a Beet smoothie.

Recipe for Beet Smoothie
1 organic beet, greens removed, scrubbed and quartered
3 dates
2 cups frozen strawberries
1 slice of lemon, peel included
2 cups coconut water (more or less as the blender needs to flow smoothly

Combine in blender and blend until smooth

Resources
Juicy Details Fresh-squeezed fruits and veggies are tasty–but do they live up to the hype? Liz Applegate Ph.D. August 2012 “Runner’s World”
 
Dietary nitrate supplementation reduces the O2 cost of low-intensity exercise and enhances tolerance to high-intensity exercise in humans; Stephen J. Bailey, Paul Winyard, Anni Vanhatalo, Jamie R. Blackwell, Fred J. DiMenna, Daryl P. Wilkerson, Joanna Tarr, Nigel Benjamin, Andrew M. Jones,  October 2009. “Journal of Applied Physiology”

Mother Was Right: Eat Your Vegetables and Do Not Spit! When Oral Nitrate Helps With High Blood Pressure, David A. Wink, Nazareno Paolocci, February, 2008  “Hypertension” Acute Blood Pressure Lowering, Vasoprotective, and Antiplatelet Properties of Dietary Nitrate via Bioconversion to Nitrite. A. J. Webb, N. Patel, S. Loukogeorgakis, M. Okorie, Z. Aboud, S. Misra, R. Rashid, P. Miall, J. Deanfield, N. Benjamin, R. MacAllister, A. J. Hobbs, A. Ahluwalia. Hypertension, 2008

Endothelium/Endothelin “Inorganic Nitrate Supplementation Lowers Blood Pressure in Humans Role for Nitrite-Derived NO,” Vikas Kapil, Alexandra B. Milsom, Michael Okorie, Sheiva Maleki-Toyserkani, Farihah Akram, Farkhanda Rehman, Shah Arghandawi, Vanessa Pearl, Nigel Benjamin, Stavros Loukogeorgakis, Raymond MacAllister, Adrian J. Hobbs, Andrew J. Webb, Amrita Ahluwalia; Hypertension, June 2010

Beet Juice & Liver Detoxification, Jill Blessing, http://www.livestrong.com/article/297215-beet-juice-liver-detoxification/ , Jun 14,2011Nutrition Concepts and Controversies California Edition, F.S Sizer and E.N. Whitney, 2011         

Liver-protecting effects of table beet (Beta vulgaris var. rubra) during ischemia-reperfusion. Váli L, Stefanovits-Bányai E, Szentmihályi K, Fébel H, Sárdi E, Lugasi A, Kocsis I, Blázovics A. February 2007 “Nutrition”

Going for it

What possesses us to enter races? What pushes us to push further? What have I gotten myself into? I just signed on to run in the Surf City marathon. The good news is, it's a course I know and love. There isn't any bad news, except that I still can't stand the taste and texture of chocolate. Call me crazy! I'm not sure what to predict as my finish time. Thursday, I ran nearly tem miles at a nearly 12 minute per mile pace. But that was just me and Radio Lab--my new favorite thing to listen to when I run. Check out the Colors episode, and also the Darkside of the Earth podcast. It lets me check out and go to unusual places. Perhaps the bad news is that Surf City Marathon has a 6 hour time limit. Going into it at this point, I have confidence that I'll be able to do this, but know that I've got a lot to do to improve my speed so that I fall well shy of that time limit. That would be a 13:74 minute mile. I need to do better than that. Yoga will help my hip, which still grieves me. Doing some cross training will help,and also some speed training. There is a debate in my head over if I should hire a coach/trainer. Not sure... What else am I going to do with my life?

Sunday

"Do me a favor,"
And I'm quite serious.
I need more yellow flowers,
These are almost spent."

So I trudged to the store
Fending off the Sunday shoppers
And erratic drivers
To gather a bouquet.

Yellow, but not her flowers,
Not the sleek and growing tulips
She had requested,
The wild looking kind
Like the tines of her heart.

Tulips are precious in winter.
But looking back to spring,
To bring such a thing into this season,
That is the request of the aged.

We visited Gram today and took her a bouquet of yellow alstroemeria and golden rod to replace the yellow tulips I'd picked up on the way down last week with my sister. It didn't go over so well. Gram, who is stoic in her manner, seems to be slipping in fragments. Just here and there, thoughts lost and rambled over, small slights and unkindnesses uttered only to be smoothed and glossed over later in the conversation. It's a little heartbreaking.

This whole day has weight.

Night running

Running
Through the quiet riverbed
Outlined with shadow and coyotes.
Silver bands of water weave
Celtic knots into the earth.
All silent, all dark, all blurred
Except my distinctive rhythms:
Even footfall, steady breath,
Jubilant heart.



We ran 7 miles tonight, adding two to our goal of five, just because it felt so good to move.

JE just Left for work, my sister just got up to use the loo and is now back to bed, I am sitting in my running clothes wondering if I will eventually go for my morning run. I missed my five mile run On Wednesday after I dropped a dresser drawer on my toe. Ouch. It bled and gooed for a while, and now is one dark bruise. Shoes are not so fun. Perhaps just a Nike fitness club workout, or some yoga.

LH, my sister, is visiting from Portland, Oregon. Her drum corps is in town to particiapate and watch the original drum corps from Long Beach have its annual reunion. Most of those guys are ready to retire--or beyond, but still play with an bone shaking passion. For some of them, it literally hurts. Two years ago, I was at this reunion with my sister. Every year, the circle gets smaller, as these older men bow to physical afflictions. Each year may be their last to play together. One of the coolest and emotionally charged things I've ever seen. The reunion happens Saturday at El Dorado Park in Long Beach.

New Avdentures

The voice if DA kept going through my head as I tried to back off my kicking. My swim coach blasted me for using my legs too much. "Save your legs for the run."

Today was my first day in the early morning swim class and it felt good to be in the water again. I am grouped with a range of swimmers; Hannah is brand new to it and middle aged Pam swam on the high school swim team. There are also several young men, some of whom have never swam before either.

Our coach had us doing breathing drills, with one arm stretched out while we float on our backs. Back and forth in the lane, all of us forming a single line down the pool.

I can swim, and the coach knows I can swim. This is both bad and good. We, as first timers in this class, have an advantage of the coaches attention who generously tweaks our performance to improve--like my kicking. There are several classes meeting at the same time, who run drills and don't receive as much attention. He suggested I'll be in with the beginners for maybe a week before I start in with the rest of the groups. Which is good because I can swim, but bad because they drill pretty hard without breaking and it has been a while since I've been in the pool. My rhythm is still off. But I'll find it soon. I hope...

Often, when I say something is "life changing," people make the mistake of thinking I am talking about some monumental event. I'm not. I find that the most lasting changes in my life have taken years of tweaking and growth. For instance, we recently started getting out produce and eggs from a farm-share. Each week, we go to a designated spot and pick up a box filled with seasonal veggies and fruit that is organically grown by local farmers. It has changed the way we eat--suddenly it seems so wasteful to eat at restaurants, our vegetable intake has increased and our meat and fat consumption is down. JE has lost about 10 pounds in the last month.

I so enjoyed the nutrition class I took this summer, I enrolled in a nutrition controversies class for the fall. I'm also desperately trying to get into a bio-chem class that fits so beautifully into my schedule. But there are a dozen people trying to add the class and only one slot open. It will be lotteried off at the next class period--send good thoughts my way.

After years of pestering JE to take a sailing class with me, all it took for him to enroll was a tiny bout of public humiliation (I didn't mean it!). Our first time out of the harbor, we were casually escorted by a small pod of dolphin. One was so close we could hear it breath. It was a fun class. Every class we had a tiny breeze to learn to sail by. But our last class we had a gale! JE had a great time, but I found steering the boat (a 14 ft caprise with a reefed sail) incredibly difficult. "Almost capsizing is not capsizing," our instructor reminded me when we got to port. But I have been a bit afraid of taking the tiller since then, it was pretty close. And who is it to push for continuing our sailing experience? Yes, my JE has us signed up for the next class--14 weeks of 'fun.'

We've been so fortunate to get up to the central coast while the weather is still so nice. Last weekend we roamed the hills above Big Sur both by car and on foot. We are learning to cook on a camp stove, over a fire, and in foil in the fire.

JE overlooking the Great Pacific

Sunset through fog. Not bad for a first gen iPhone.

Class

Yoga, with an interesting instructor. She seems to live yoga. This is a good thing. She told us that she likes to give one on one attention and make corrections. This is a great thing. Excellent. I'll have yoga twice a week. Tomorrow is my nutrition class.

After class today, I ran 7 miles. Feeling good

School Days

Over the past couple weeks, I've been building my running up. Mondays I run 7 miles, Wednesday 5, Friday 3 miles with sprint intervals. I now run 7 miles at a 12 minute mile pace. It's been good and difficult. Perhaps the strangest thing about it is how muscle fatigues my lower abs are, and how sore they are for days afterward. So weird. But it makes sense. Tuesday's and Thursdays have become my swimming and Nike Fitness Club workout days. But that is all in flux.

This morning, I started a nutrition class at the local college. I'm not sure what exactly I am expecting to gain from taking this class, perhaps just to peek inside one of the many doors that has been gently pushed open for me lately.

Over the past year or so, I've had so many dreams that I was wandering about in corridors. Recently, I figured out what those dreams were really about and feel the need and desire to change that. My life is filled with opportunities to explore, and I am going to explore them. I may, however, be overly filled with zealousness. Currently there are 8 credits for which I am enrolled. Eight credits in eight weeks or less, plus a couple odd jobs. Odd jobs include a coat for Captain Hook in "Cathy Rigby is Peter Pan!" I'm excited to build this coat, but the deadline is awfully crunchy. As is the ancient station wagon birthday cake I'll be building for Swantje's mother's 90th birthday--this weekend. Photos to come--I hope...

The past few weeks I've been working on throwing a party to celebrate the creative process. I invited several people who are also highly creative and asked them to bring something they worked on for the party. The optional theme was "Bright Spots." I sent invites with ample time to have something prepared to share, but most folks came with older projects, or things hastily thrown together. People came, some dressed up. Bronwen came in a vintage dress she had wired to light up in a sunburst pattern. She had taught herself how to make a circuit for electricity and sewed conductive thread into the dress. So cool. Why didn't I take photos? Her husband brought a painting of a vision he had while meditating during yoga. Pete, brought a pie. Melody brought her costume sketches from grad school. Colleen brought "ancient art," watercolors she had done "years ago."

Several trips to the beach had me scrambling for ideas. When I picked up a few pieces of driftwood, I started to get some ideas. Critters were forming as I looked at the differing shapes in the wood. Eventually, I found a piece that nailed down what the driftwood was trying to tell me. Birds! There was so much movement in these crazy bits of flotsam, they needed to stay moving, so they became marionettes. Here is a link to a little video of one of the birds/creatures. Admittedly, they are weird.

2012-06-18

Japheth on the beach

After I showed the group my project, they all decided that we need to keep meeting--to take the project more seriously, give each other challenges, and have a goal in mind. We meet again at the end of August with Nature as our theme. I need this in my life.

My rhythm is off. My swim is pretty difficult. I only had time for 24 laps, in the half hour I got outside. I need to swim earlier to avoid a bit of the sun.

Half way point

At 2.5 miles, I was feeling charged. The first mile had been brutal. I'd been in the kitchen all arvo making bread, tamales, and my new favorite treat: coconut butter cups with honey sweetened peanut butter in the middle. They are akin to chocolate peanut butter cups, but somewhere in this mix of things, I've lost my taste for chocolate. I really am a freak...

JE was with me, running in his crappy little Tigers I can't get him to throw away. I asked him how his feet were feeling and if they could stand to run another mile. Of course, for me that man would walk through fire. And so we ran. Not fast, but thorough.

We turned around and began running back. The Nike training app lady told us we had gone 4 miles. Running became easier, we only had two more miles left!

I wanted my 10k tonight, and I earned it. It's been a while since I've been so on fire to run. Somedays I'm totally motivated and able, others times I struggle. But I've got to keep on moving (ain't nobody going to break my stride...). Even though i am sore and tired, it feels good to move.

Being on the otherside of things is, in a way, enlightening. From where I stand now, things look so much brighter. I've enrolled in a couple classes--including a sailing class! And have some perspective of where I'm headed. There is so much I want to know and do. Life just gets better.

Ran 4 mles today. Is it me or is this running thing getting harder? Still sore from Nike butt-kicking.

Great dinner, pasta with chicken, zucchini, amperage, oil cured olives and garlic. Happy belly.

Nike training

The slight crescent of moon hung low and was soon enveloped by the incoming marine layer as we raced up the hill next to our home. It was a tough run, the kind that makes my mouth taste of blood as my lungs stretch to accommodate more oxygen. It felt great to sweat. We were dripping wet by the time we got home. It was only about a mile and a half total, but we ran hard.

Nike Training Club is narrated by a female voice that guides the workout and tells you to, "Grab your equipment." Invariably, JE grabs his equipment, often putting his weights down to grab his crotch.

This morning, I went to visit a friend in Fullerton. We shopped at the farmer's market and played with her boys after school. The past month has been full of good friends, several of whom I hadn't seen in years. It's been a huge blessing to be surrounded by these positive people. People who bring so much light into my life and still love me when I get dark. But I don't feel so dark these days. I feel strong and ready for whatever is ahead.

Tonight I hosted dinner and craft night for my neighbor's two girls, ages seven and five. We made pizza. Later we made pipe cleaner and sparkly bead tiaras. It was so fun. JE made up new names for them: Creat-Lin and Addi-mazing. We also spent a lot of time designing "food." Things like grapefruit flavored cats, throw up pancakes, macaroni and pickles, and ham flavored pajamas. All the things that would never fly at a dinner table where parents are involved. This is who we get to be.

And I learned a super easy pizza dough recipe:

Pizza dough

4oz unbleached flour
1/2 ts sugar
1/2 ts yeast
1/4 ts salt
Whisk ingredients together and add
1/3 cup water
Mix until coarsely mixed. Add two ts olive oil to a two cup container with a lid. Roll dough in oil and let rest on counter for half an hour. Refrigerate 1-24 hours, removing from the fridge one hour before using. Pat out into 12 inch pizza pan a with oiled fingers. Cover and let rest 35 minutes. Preheat oven and pizza stone to 475 F. Bake crust for 5 minutes. Remove from oven and add toppings. Bake another 5-7 minutes. Serve sliced and hot!

Endurance

This evening, as the sun was setting, I jumped in the pool, determined to swim my mile. It wasn't easy. Johne had just come home from work, and I really just wanted to hang out and chat with him. But the pool also beckoned. There is a price to pay for anything desirable, and that mile is my price tag for fitness and sanity. So I swam, pausing every once in a while at the end of the lane to chat with JE who treaded water near the wall. He was my distance buoy; as the sun set, the lights in the pool failed to come on and the wall became invisible.

With this latest chapter of my life, I've come to respect and appreciate this amazingly kind man who adores me, more than ever.

Yesterday, all day I had been looking forward to my run. But I didn't get out fast enough, and the weather turned hot. I waited until JE came home. We ran together, joking and laughing. We made up games about certain areas being sprint zones, or super skid zones like in video games. My time wasn't so great, my legs felt leaden. Probably all the salt from the potato chips the previous day...

Okay, mostly I was kidding about the potato chip curing my faintness. In reality, it was probably because I had finally begun to eat again and my body really missed food and salt, in particular. (I had started a secret blog for family and friends that tracked the past few months. If you are interested, shoot me your email address; but be warned, it got grizzly at the end.)

I am still limiting my sugar, avoiding sweets and added sugar to foods. Sweet is kind of yucky to me, now. And I don't like chocolate, I never thought I would ever have that problem. I am a freak.

I feel almost like I'm starting from scratch again. After nearly three months of bed rest with another failed pregnancy and a trip to the emergency room to take care the inexplicable amount of pain I was in as I miscarried, I find myself having a difficult time getting back into the swing.

Thursday, I swam a mile and a bit. Friday, I ran five miles, and ran it in good time. Now, I'm trying to break myself of a nasty little habit I'm trying not to develop, namely: potato chip addiction. After surgery, I couldn't get me head back around, I was fainting at every turn. My doctor had me back on bed rest, not the place I wanted to be at that point, too much thinking. But after I started eating chips, good, salty chips, I started to come around again. My head cleared and Ive been feeling better: physically and emotionally. However, this isn't a long term cure. Actually perhaps part of the malady. So...

So, I am in the midst of planning my week and figure that this blog really helped my accountability in the past. One of the things I wanted most to do while I was confined to not being able to do anything, was to run, workout, swim, lift weights and work on getting in shape. Instead, I watched with great satisfaction as my waistline disappeared and my muscle tone went away.

Our travel plans for my birthaversary went away. Thank goodness JE bought travel insurance on a whim. We were able to get back all but a hundred dollars. The worst part is that we sat in the doctors office, learning that there was no longer a heartbeat at precisely the time we were to take off from LAX.

But I'm Ok. Surprisingly so. My heart broke, but is mending well and more soundly than I would have expected. I just need to figure out what to do with this amazing amount of time I've got this summer. I am learning to stay focused and concentrate. There are goals in my life, things I've neglected, and now, right now, this moment, I will revisit those things and make a plan to achieve them.

I will also check out some nutrition plans. Food is tricky. I'm happy to have it, but need some regulation in it. Not a stringently, but I want to feel my best and strongest. What is the plan of attack for that? I'm not sure. But I will work on it this week and let you know. I'll also make a plan for the week for fitness. Do I still want my marathon? Do I want to get better and fast in a triathlon? Do I want to do an open water swim? The only goal I actually know is that I want to be lean and strong. Lean comes from diet, strength comes from me and how much I am willing to workout.

I am nothing, if not phoenix. Burn me to cinder, and I still bank coal.

Planes, trains and...

Don't give up on me. I'm still around and doing the things I love most in life.

It's been a bit busy and lazy, all at once. While my long runs have been minimized to short comfortable distances, my hip is recovering and feeling better and better. My swims are interesting. Recently, I joined a masters swim series; to which I've gone exactly once. It was shocking to go from swimming a twenty yard length to a fifty yard length. I learned about synchronizing laps with other swimmers, doing various drills, and got a lot of pointers on improving my technique.

We finally decided and purchased a birthday/anniversary getaway, though it won't be exactly on my birthday. I can deal. I'd sacrifice a lot to go to Croatia AND Paris! Dream trip, it involves planes, boats, trains, and snorkel gear. I feel like such a spoiled brat, but 40 only happens once, so I may as well celebrate.

We visited my Gram today. She is still doing poorly and called my aunt down from mammoth to be with her. Poor lady.

Stitches

Ive been strapped to my sewing machine, with a big project. Fortunately, I am able to work at home. It's nice to be home with the sun shining though the windows, and a cat lazily sharing my space. It's a load off to not be at my previous post, and I feel like I'm finally finding my feet again.

Chiropracty has helped immensely. So many of my muscles have been so tied up in knots, that when I ran, they wouldn't move--they just help tight. Since I started this, my hip rarely hurts, and my miles are easier. Lovely. Stretching properly--in the form of a lunge for some of it, has also been hugely beneficial.

Today, with perfect running weather and low temperatures, I felt like I could have run forever. I ran a solid five miles, then realized I had a lunch date and started my trip back. I got half way back and asked JE if he would mind picking me up during his lunch break, because I was still further out than I would have had time to run, and for the first time in a very long time, my side was stitched.

Perfect timing. I mean, perfect. I even got a shower at home before I left to meet her.

Fun luch, complete with dolphin (swimming out in the sea, not on my plate) at Las Brisas in Laguna beach.

When I was passing through Tomales Bay, on my bike tour, I saw a group of google mappers gathered at a pn oyster bar. They were smll cars with multi eyed cameras mounted on top, telescoping a dozen feet in the air. My sister sent me this link, yesterday.

Sneaking

For a while now, I've been wanting to find a vice. Not much appeals to me in the way of drugs or alcohol. Ibuprofen is about all I can stomach. Gambling and cheating are out, as I wear my heart on my sleeve and can't lie to save my life. Anything outside of my marriage would destroy me emotionally. In all this thinking about wanting a vice, I started to realize that I've been regemintally eliminating some of my most creative outlets. Planning dinners, planning my evenings and weekends with workouts. Perhaps it was the sneaky trip to LA with JE, or the dinner I cooked-- no recipe and completely unplanned--the way I used to cook, that made me realize how much I miss these quiet and achievable bits of creativity.

Life is easier, when I have some things planned, but my creativity needs to go somewhere. I need to find that outlet, and fast.

I sneaked a run this evening. It felt so good. Just five miles. In all this chiropracty and kinesiology, I've learned something about the way I run. I'm taking steps to correct a simple mistake, and discovering some speed and endurance I didn't know I had. My hip pain is caused by my feet collapsing down on my extremely high arches. Generally, I thought I ran fairly neutral, but I think as I get tired over longer distances, my feet start caving in. This would explain a lot, including why my right shoe starts hitting my left inner ankle bone after so many miles. Orthotics should enter the running picture soon, to give my sneakers a bit more support.